Latest Blog Posts
The Fear of Abandonment
What is the Fear of Abandonment? A fear of abandonment is a deep-seated fear of being left by people that you are close to. This fear affects your thoughts and behaviours. It can be rooted in childhood from physical or emotional
The Effects of a Difficult Childhood
A difficult childhood can be defined as one where one or both parents may have been in addiction, have had a difficult childhood themselves that they never dealt with, they may have had anger issues and therefore were frightening, or they
CBT
CBT is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. CBT theory suggests that our thoughts, emotions, body sensations, and behaviour are all connected, and that what we think and do affects the way we feel. It deals with identifying a client’s negative belief systems and
Understanding Anger
“The average adult experiences anger about once a day and becomes annoyed or peeved about three times a day.” What is Anger? Anger is one of our natural inbuilt ‘mammalian’ defences which is designed to keep us safe from danger. Anger
Why Some People Do Not Know They Have Trauma
We learn to defend ourselves from the world at a very young age. These defences become ingrained and we think they are parts of our personalities. We may often dismiss our defences as ‘that’s just me.’ Defences are ingenious as they
Triggers and Triggering
A child who has lived in a situation of stress and abuse for a prolonged time will usually develop Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. This is an elaborate system of defence mechanisms which are triggered by events in the environment which
How Does Counselling Work?
Often in life, we may feel that we talk but others do not really listen, or that we are not worth listening to and then we may keep our thoughts and feelings to ourselves. If we have come from a dysfunctional
Chronic Shame
Children from difficult backgrounds will often have lots of feelings of guilt and shame. Sources of shame can be parents, siblings, school or wider society and this will be carried into adulthood and will often manifest as feelings of the self
The Mental Structure of a Person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder
This is a simplified diagram of the mental structure of the mind of a narcissist. It is a complex system of defences which protect the conscious mind from the buried feelings of shame and rejection. The real wants and needs of
