Latest Blog Posts

Chronic People Pleasing

People pleasers put others before themselves and consider their own needs last, if at all.  Often, children are not permitted to be themselves, perhaps their parents are abusive or just do not accept their child for who they are. This results

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Chronic Shame

Children from difficult backgrounds will often have lots of feelings of guilt and shame. Sources of shame can be parents, siblings, school or wider society and this will be carried into adulthood and will often manifest as feelings of the self

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The Anger Iceberg

The Anger Iceberg reminds us that when we are feeling angry we are often protecting ourselves from other emotions. Anger is a useful tool as it is full of energy which helps us to act and it keeps others away from

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The Brain and Trauma

Swollen Amygdala A child living under traumatic conditions will develop a brain that is very biased to danger. This will last into adulthood. This is done through the amygdala which is the ‘smoke alarm’ and emotional centre of the brain. Brain

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Triggers and Triggering

A child who has lived in a situation of stress and abuse for a prolonged time will usually develop Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. This is an elaborate system of defence mechanisms which are triggered by events in the environment which

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Attachment Theory

Attachment theory deals with the relationship between the primary caregiver and the baby/child. Research has shown that attachment styles can be observed by the time a child is one year old. Attachment is the emotional bond we have with another person.

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Internal Family Systems Theory

How the Mind Works as an Internal Family Internal Family Systems Theory, developed by Richard C. Shwartz in the 1980s, has grown out of family systems theory (e.g. if a child is acting out, the whole family dynamic is responsible for

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What is Narcissistic Abuse?

Narcissistic abuse describes the way narcissists behave toward intimate others and the effects it has on them. NPD is a set of defence mechanisms that shape the way people with NPD look at, and relate to, the world. This leads to

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Sarah Graham

Sarah Graham

I am a Counsellor, based in Bournemouth in the UK, with specialist knowledge of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I am trained in treating Complex Trauma. I work online and am insured to work in most places in the world.
Unfortunately, I can't work with people in the USA or Canada due to licensing requirements.

Link To My Website - Children of Narcissists