Difficult Childhoods

A difficult childhood can be defined as one where one or both parents may have been in addiction or had a difficult childhood themselves that they never dealt with, they may have had anger issues and were frightening, or they may have been cold and critical and perhaps unloving. One or both parents may have been controlling and not accepting of their child’s wishes and/or character. There may have been a bereavement, a difficult divorce or a problematic step-parent.

This can be a stressful environment for a child to grow up in and can lead to all kinds of insecurities such as; feelings of not being good enough, feelings of being unsure of who they are, what they really want in life or a feeling that something is wrong but they are not sure what it is or they may have feelings of anxiety, be irritable, often feel stressed, be depressed at times or have frequent feelings of anger or frustration.

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Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Narcissistic Abuse

If your partner or parent can be cold, controlling or devaluing, be dismissive of you or your opinions, has never said sorry for anything, seems to be lacking in empathy, gives you the silent treatment and may go for days or weeks without speaking to you, if they lie a lot, or are manipulative and self-centred, if you get the feeling they think ‘it’s my way or the highway,’ if they are jealous and highly critical, if they are quick to anger and rage and if you feel you are never good enough – you may have a partner or parent with NPD.

A person with NPD can cause their partner and/or children to feel undervalued, belittled and ignored and it can have serious effects on self-worth and self-esteem. It can result in Complex PTSD, addictions, panic disorders, anxiety and depression amongst other outcomes.

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Complex Trauma

I work with Complex Trauma. The following can be symptoms of complex trauma (which can be caused by childhood abuse or having a parent who is in addiction, mentally ill or emotionally neglectful); irritability, depression, insomnia, feeling emotionally overwhelmed, having nightmares or flashbacks, feeling shame or worthlessness, panic attacks, substance abuse, eating disorders, chronic pain and feelings of not knowing who you are or feeling unreal.

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