Welcome
Some of us have the feeling that something is wrong but we are not sure what it is or we know our life could be better. Some of us know that we have come from a difficult background and use coping mechanisms that can be destructive to ourselves or others.
Some of us are living with the effects of trauma, but do not realise that we are, and some are more aware and may find life to be overwhelming at times and find it hard to cope.
Many of us are out of touch with our true selves. One reason for this is that we learn to defend ourselves from the world at a very young age. Those defences become ingrained and we may think they are part of our personality. We may often dismiss our defences as ‘that’s just me.’
Defences are ingenious as they work by us not knowing that we have them. One of the most effective ways to resolve this is through counselling.
Sarah Graham
Counsellor
My name is Sarah and I am a fully qualified counsellor, based in Bournemouth, in the UK. I work online on Zoom.
I am an accredited member of the National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society. My accreditation is backed by the UK government through the Professional Standards Authority. My training and education meet standards set by those bodies.
Please see my profile at the National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society.
I am currently full but please let me know if you would like to go onto a contact list.
I can then let you know when a place becomes available.
Please email me at [email protected]
Areas I Work In
I Can Help With...
Difficult Childhoods
A difficult childhood can be defined as one where one or both parents may have been in addiction or had a difficult childhood themselves that they never dealt with, they may have had anger issues and were frightening, or they may have been cold and critical and perhaps unloving. One or both parents may have been controlling and not accepting of their child’s wishes and/or character. There may have been a bereavement, a difficult divorce or a problematic step-parent.
This can be a stressful environment for a child to grow up in and can lead to all kinds of insecurities such as; feelings of not being good enough, feelings of being unsure of who they are, what they really want in life or a feeling that something is wrong but they are not sure what it is or they may have feelings of anxiety, be irritable, often feel stressed, be depressed at times or have frequent feelings of anger or frustration.
Read more here.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Narcissistic Abuse
If your partner or parent can be cold, controlling or devaluing, be dismissive of you or your opinions, has never said sorry for anything, seems to be lacking in empathy, gives you the silent treatment and may go for days or weeks without speaking to you, if they lie a lot, or are manipulative and self-centred, if you get the feeling they think ‘it’s my way or the highway,’ if they are jealous and highly critical, if they are quick to anger and rage and if you feel you are never good enough – you may have a partner or parent with NPD.
A person with NPD can cause their partner and/or children to feel undervalued, belittled and ignored and it can have serious effects on self-worth and self-esteem. It can result in Complex PTSD, addictions, panic disorders, anxiety and depression amongst other outcomes.
Read more here.
Complex Trauma
I work with Complex Trauma. The following can be symptoms of complex trauma (which can be caused by childhood abuse or having a parent who is in addiction, mentally ill or emotionally neglectful); irritability, depression, insomnia, feeling emotionally overwhelmed, having nightmares or flashbacks, feeling shame or worthlessness, panic attacks, substance abuse, eating disorders, chronic pain and feelings of not knowing who you are or feeling unreal.
Read more here.
Articles
Why Some People Do Not Know They Have Trauma
We learn to defend ourselves from the world at a very young age. These defences become ingrained and we think they are parts of our
Neuroplasticity
Neuroplasticity is the ability of the brain to adapt physically to new information and grow new neural pathways. It is how we learn. The brain
The Brain and Trauma
Swollen Amygdala A child living under traumatic conditions will develop a brain that is very biased to danger. This will last into adulthood. This is
Defence Mechanisms
There are many types of defence mechanisms which we utilise when feeling the need to protect ourselves. There are primitive and sophisticated methods of defence
Healing From Narcissistic Abuse
Those with Narcissistic Personality Disordered parents have a lot of healing to do, but it can be done. The defences that were built in childhood
What is Narcissistic Abuse?
Narcissistic abuse describes the way narcissists behave toward intimate others and the effects it has on them. NPD is a set of defence mechanisms that
Clues That You May Have Complex PTSD
Some people who have Complex PTSD often do not know that they have it because so much of their emotional life and bodily sensations have
Treating Complex Trauma
Complex PTSD develops in response to chronic traumatisation over the course of months or years. The trauma can include emotional, physical or sexual abuse. There
How Does Counselling Work?
Often in life, we may feel that we talk but others do not really listen, or that we are not worth listening to and then
Transactional Analysis
Transactional Analysis was developed by Eric Berne who wrote the popular book ‘Games People Play‘. Ego States Berne posited that each individual possesses three basic
Triggers and Triggering
A child who has lived in a situation of stress and abuse for a prolonged time will usually develop Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. This
Sensorimotor Psychotherapy
Sensorimotor Psychotherapy uses psychoeducation to educate the client about trauma and the physical effects it has had on the body and brain and on how
For Enquiries or to Make an Appointment
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We are not what happened to us, we are what we wish to become
Therapy Made Easier
member of a Professional Body
Accredited member of The National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society
PROFESSIONAL STANDARDS AUTHORITY
Accreditation backed by the Professional Standards Authority
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All messages replied to within 2 working days
Online Therapy
Sessions take place from the comfort of your own home on Zoom
