Latest Blog Posts

Chronic People Pleasing
People pleasers put others before themselves and consider their own needs last, if at all. Often, children are not permitted to be themselves, perhaps their parents are abusive or just do not accept their child for who they are. This results

Transactional Analysis
Transactional Analysis was developed by Eric Berne who wrote the popular book ‘Games People Play‘. Ego States Berne posited that each individual possesses three basic ego states – the Parent, Adult, and the Child. These states represent a person’s internal model

Healthy Narcissism Vs. Unhealthy Narcissism
Narcissism originally begins as a response in childhood to developmental issues. Both nature and nurture are influential in the early years in setting up the personality. Elements of narcissism are needed in the development of a healthy personality. Narcissism forms the

The Mental Structure of a Person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder
This is a simplified diagram of the mental structure of the mind of a narcissist. It is a complex system of defences which protect the conscious mind from the buried feelings of shame and rejection. The real wants and needs of

The Fear of Abandonment
What is the Fear of Abandonment? A fear of abandonment is a deep-seated fear of being left by people that you are close to. This fear affects your thoughts and behaviours. It can be rooted in childhood from physical or emotional

What are the Benefits of Counselling?
The Benefits of Counselling There are many benefits to counselling, it can lead to: Accepting yourself Feeling more compassion for yourself and others Feelings of calmness Feelings of being more in control of your self Being more resilient and able to

The Anger Iceberg
The Anger Iceberg reminds us that when we are feeling angry we are often protecting ourselves from other emotions. Anger is a useful tool as it is full of energy which helps us to act and it keeps others away from

Healing From Narcissistic Abuse
Those with Narcissistic Personality Disordered parents have a lot of healing to do, but it can be done. The defences that were built in childhood need to be carefully dismantled and replaced with the characteristics of assertiveness and confidence. Many people

Why We Self-Sabotage
Why Do We Self-Sabotage? Self-sabotage can be defined as acting in a way that is detrimental to both our well-being and to reaching our potential. Self-sabotage can be either conscious or subconscious and is expressed in our behaviours when we undermine